And I Shall Rise
by The Book Keeper a.k.a. Etamin
Summary: A series of drabbles, not necessarily connected to Harry Potter, but most of my inspiration to these - mostly depressing/angsty - drabbles came from reading Harry Potter. Warning: characters are rarely to never mentioned in these drabbles.
1. Death

_"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."_  
 **— Mark Twain**

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And I Shall Rise

An _Original_ drabble series

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 **Drabble I: Death**

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 **I am more interested in what lies on the other side than the actual living.**

Life goes on the way you think you want it to be, the way it is supposed to be, but what is the point when everything you want is something you cannot have. You are nothing more than a mechanism that adapts to your surroundings in order to survive; someone who strive for perfection, when you know you can never be anything but flawed, that you can only become what others expect you to be.

 **And what for? To make a change, to be different, to do something big that will make you glorious for the rest of your life?**

And people waits until you fall, until your foundation crumples, because they know that sooner or later you will suffer and despair of what once was.

 **What's the point, then, if your success will not last forever?**

Life is insignificant and unfair, death is inevitable and unchangeable; you search for kindness, closure, happiness, just for it to be taken away so you can move on in misery and forgot what really matters, what the world is truly like: Ugly. Imperfect. Polluted. Hated. Cold. Painful.

I am more interested in, what will happen the day I die, because the unknown intrigues me; a place where I will fit in, a place where no one can or will judge me, a place where I can be who I was meant to be, not whom I was meant to represent. The thought consoles me, but it also terrifies me, because what I fear most is something I have no knowledge of what is. Oblivion.

 **That is why I fear death, yet also why I wish for it to come sooner rather than later.**

My place in the world will be of no significant value as it will continue to be imperfect whether I like it or not. My face is that of a stranger's: someone you have seen before, but cannot pin a name to. I am nothing. If I am anything, I am a smaller chess piece on a large chessboard, meant for battle and destruction, a life of which I do not wish to live, but I do it anyway, because I am too scared to take action and do what I really want: Explore the unknown and do what others fear to do, including myself.


	2. Kill

_"Killing is not so easy as the innocent believe."_  
― **J.K. Rowling** , **Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince**

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 **Drabble II: Kill**

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There was once a time when I was tasked to kill and punished for my failure.

Even through the consequences, I vowed that I would never murder another living being, animal or human, it did not matter; I would not shatter my soul even if my life were at risk, even if my family and friends would suffer by my choices.

But for you, I would die to protect you.

I would kill to keep you from harm.

I would slay millions of people if only you would promise me your forgiveness for my horrendous crimes.

I love you, and I cannot breathe without you breathing safely against my skin.

Even if you would hate me for eternity.

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A/N: This was inspired, if it isn't obvious, by Draco's task to kill Dumbledore during Half-Blood Prince. The person he refers to can be anyone you prefer Draco paired with, it isn't necessarily the pair I favour (though, obviously, it is the one I mostly think of when I write).


	3. White Queen

_"A man will always promise to do more than he can do to a woman he cannot understand."_  
― **Philippa Gregory** , **The White Queen**

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 **Drabble III: White Queen**

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I see the tears in your eyes.

They refuse to fall.

I see the fear you hide behind tight sealed iron doors.

Yet you do not falter to do what you deem is right.

You are brave to continue without a flinch of doubt.

And I watch in awe as you wrench upon my carpet floor in a mass of crumpled limps, but with the truth sealed tightly behind the lies you spit through torture.

I see the way you move, how your shoulders slump, the way your ears are listening to intruders, the way your muscles tense at the mere sound of the air brushing against your face, how you fear an intake of breath will be your last; the way you are ready to fight for your very existence as your hand tightens around your weapon.

And you are part of a larger game, a game of which I am a pawn and you are a queen.

If only you were not so pure that the very thought of touching you would disintegrate me.

I should hate you; the very air you inhale and exhale should cloud my mind and pollute my system.

Instead, you cloud my judgement; you are my addiction, an addiction too dangerous for me to have, yet it keeps me alive.

For now.

You are the enemy; I should not care for you.

Yet I am too selfish to let you go despite our predicament.

I see the fear in your eyes, your tears finally streaming.

And you continue to fight with death lurking around every corner.

I envy your courage; the jealousy of your determination is eating me alive.

For I am not brave.

I am just a pawn and you are my queen, albeit my white queen.

My key for redemption.

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A/N: Inspired by the character Hermione Granger seen from Draco Malfoy's perspective (if he so desired her as I like to think).


	4. Ghosts

_"I am like a small creature swallowed whole by a monster, she thought, and the monster feels my tiny little movements inside."_  
― **Shirley Jackson** , **The Haunting of Hill House**

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 **Drabble IV: Ghosts**

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I remember one time, when I was seven, I woke up in the middle of the night between my parents, having earlier troubles falling asleep, to a whining noise coming from outside, like someone trying to steal a car. Except, the noise wouldn't stop; it kept screeching and screeching, and I felt this sort of... tugging inside me, as if there was something out there, something very wrong. I told my mother about it - being that both she and my father are light sleepers - but she brushed it off, saying it was just some bully causing a rampage. So I let it by, for a few minutes, until I couldn't take it anymore and went out of bed, trying to brush off the sudden anxiety.

By the time I decided to check it out, I was already outside, in pyjamas and barefooted, no less, strolling around in the middle of the night, just a few fifty meters away from our house. You couldn't visible see that a car was whining, there weren't any blinking lights, nothing to alert people from afar, just the noise. So, being the ever inquisitive person I was, I went to our own car to inspect. My finger managed to brush against the surface when I looked up and saw her... this girl of sort, all in this transparent white colour; not a contrast against the darkness of night, but enough to see that there was unmistakably someone there, someone unnatural. And I was petrified, frozen in place as we stared at each other. She was too far away for me to notice the details of her features, but I remember the long hair and the dress she wore, like one of my own, barefooted like me. And I had a feeling she saw right through my soul, my life flashing before my eyes.

I don't know if she went closer to me, the memory foggy when I think back. It felt so long where I just stood there, immobilised to the spot, gazing at her in sheer horror and fascination, wondering if I was going to die. And then my mother called for me, snapping me out of my trance, and she was still there, like nothing on this earth would move her. And I ran, ran back to my mother and told her everything. Except, when my mother went to look for herself, the girl wasn't there any longer, and the noise had stopped.

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A/N: An actual real life experience, flourished and exaggerated a bit for added tension. But the concept in itself is true: I saw someone out there that night. Someone who wasn't supposed to be from the living realm of humans, who wasn't supposed to be alive.


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